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| What do you take for granted in life?I had dinner with some friends once and they asked me what was the best, most special thing Jason had given me. Automatically, my initial response was to think of something material, and when I couldn't choose the most expensive, most glamourous thing I simply blurted out, "He doesn't really get me anything special!"
Looking back, it could've been the sangria that was talking...but even still, I couldn't believe the words that came out of my mouth. As hard as I say I'm trying to change, when I'm put on the spot, I cannot deliver. I felt so remorseful & materialistic. What sort of impression had I given my friends? I set myself up.
But really I do take his love for granted.
And it's the reason why we occasionally argue...it's all my fault really; demanding him to tell me something
instead of reading the show in between the lines.
But at the end of the day, when I
say my prayers, I never fail to recognize him and all he's done for me. I've learned that although kicking a bad habit or trying to
change may be quite difficult, it's important to acknowledge your flaws
first. Bring them to the light. Make yourself feel guilty. The more you feel disgusted, the less you want to see yourself in that light, so you begin to change.
I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too! | | |
| ControlAnother new year. Yes. What to do!?
I've decided to make major changes. I'm going to learn to control my emotions and learn to hold myself back and use my head a little more. Cutting back on swearing. And calling everything a "douche bag". I'm going to stop recklessly spending, otherwise once I move in with my also reckless spender of a boyfriend, we're going to be HOMELESS. lol I'm going to start wearing more practical shoes when it's cold. LOL Sacrifices must be made! I've already ruined a fabulous pair of flats by wearing them out in the salty conditions. I must invest in boots! (Note that I said invest. Perhaps I shall wait this one out until next winter so my reckless spending can end...=P). I want that A in Nursing. For crying out loud it's my only damn class! It can't be that hard. My GPA is now 3.86...down a whole 0.11 point lol, which means I'm not having a social life for about 4 months =D.
I'm FINALLY signing up for a dance class or two. I'm going to grow my hair out and keep it HEALTHY. I'm going to take better care of my car. I will lose 5 more pounds and stay at my happy weight of 118 and KEEP it that way through the holiday season of 2008. lol. I will donate $5 to church every week. And I will control my silly mood swings and be a better girlfriend.
It's going to be a journey, but one well worth it, I'm sure. And I'm serious. 
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| Hold On To Your Youth.When I learned one of my youngest cousins had a girlfriend, it was a total surprise. I didn't know he was that kind of person yet...aren't they still in that phase where cooties exist?
Then I remembered that he was in 8th grade, and that he wasn't 7 anymore, but 14. I missed his last birthday party because of work. I hate letting moments like this slip away from me, because then so does reality!
I thought, well, this couldn't really be what it seems to be. So I do the facebook check.  I get info from prying sources, like Jordy, lol, and see what it really is all about. So far, so legit...I guess. I thought back to when I was his age and then it hit me. That's when I had MY first boyfriend too, and I thought it was all that and everything more. Forgive the cheese, but I took it seriously! As naive as I was, I wanted to make it last, and when it didn't, I was upset. I felt feelings I'd never felt before.
My initial afterthoughts just brushed his relationship aside, but when I threw myself back into his perspective, I found myself in that "grown up" mentality, and shook my head at myself. I don't really know how to explain it, but I thought of this, one of my other cousin's favorite quotes:
"When adults say, 'Teenagers think they are invincible' with that sly,
stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We
need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We
think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, we
cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and
manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of
losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our
parts cannot begin and cannot end, as so it cannot fail."
Enough said.
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| I feel like I'm not giving enough time in the days, weeks, months, for the One who loves me the most.
You know it's not Jason.
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| Lovely, with an Emphasis on Love.So the anniversary date was totally unpredictable and unforgettable!! When he first gave me a clue about something pricey in Wicker Park, I thought: OMG! Shopping spree at the Free People boutique! LOL NOT! (See, I told you I have an addiction!) Instead, it was way better. A relaxing day at Fingers & Toes Spa where I received a half hour Swedish massage, minty facial, and a mani and pedi!! It was to die for, I swear!! I was so glad I was there and not at work, where I was supposed to be up on my toes for 10 rough hours. It was my first pedicure ever, and was well needed!! It fit in so perfectly, after midterm too! The woman giving me my facial noticed my huge pimple on my temple and right away asked if I had midterm yet. LOL!!
Then after I was freshened up and exfoliated, I got dressed and we headed to dinner downtown at Carnivale, Pan Latin-fusion place. At first, I really didn't know what to expect, since I'd never heard of it before, but once we got in and were seated, I was just like, "holy geez!"
This place was jumping! There was a full bar in one room, the dining room (above), and the dance hall. The food was impeccable and orgasmic. I could not stop giggling at how delicious everything was! I had the guacamole, emapanadas, and the arrachera, which is nothing like the Filipino version, and omg, I can't even explain to you the flavors and how good it was. Dessert was our waiter's recommendation, and it sounded sort of strange, but he was advocating it like MAD, so we gave in. Squash bread pudding with ginger ice cream. A limited edition fall dish. Hmm. Squash is one of my least favorite foods. Boo. But holy geez, I was proven wrong! I don't know what kind of wonderful creative minds they have working that kitchen at Carnivale, but I swear this dessert made me fall in love with squash! Even though I was stuffed, Jay and I downed it in a minute. And ginger ice cream is one of the most exotic things I've eaten in awhile. I want to go back, like, now! Too bad you have to wait ONE MONTH to get on the damn waiting list. I can see why .
I wanted to stay and dance off my belly, but Jay had something else planned that required us to be on time...hmm. It was orchestra seat tickets to WICKED!! lol which was wicked I tell you! To tell you the truth, I don't like the Wizard of Oz AT ALL. I think it's a creepy little movie with many hidden messages behind it. Eww, I'm scared just thinking about it; but Wicked was so lighthearted and cute! Jason laughed at me in the middle of the show since he caught me with my mouth was hanging open. There was never a dull moment and I loved every bit of it! It is totally a must-see!!
The entire date was just so remarkable, plus with each element, I'd been given a change of heart. This date really showcased not only how ballin' my boyfriend is, but also how much though he put into it. He knows how materialistic I am, and how I'm really in to finding change in my life, and this date provided no gift of material whatsoever; only a more open heart and mind to other elements of life I'd SO been missing out on.
The way to my heart is through my brain. LMAO. Thanks babe!! 
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